I want to be chemically castrated?

I am 15, and I am sick of having sexual thought/libido. I will never have the opportunity to have sex unless I hire a prostitute (I'm very, very ugly- no girl would want anything to do with me)...so in general I just don't want to desire something I can't ever have. I've thought about physically castrating myself before...but I figured chemical castration would be a better (and safer) alternative. I have talked this through with my mother, but she feels that I can't "make this type of decision" at my age and that I need to "experience it" before deciding to go through with it. Can't she see this is for the betterment of my health/life? Is it possible that I could work it through with a doctor to get the medicenes I would need in order to be chemically castrated? And, if I can't...should I just remove the genitals myself?Any help is appreciated.